For some silly reason most of us seem to be taken off guard by the unknowns that come at us in life. One strange trait of human nature in that, as ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus pointed out, the only thing that is constant is change.
Something happened in my life a couple weeks ago that was one of those bigger moments. Even when barely coherent, I knew this would affect my move abroad, but I would never let it stop me from making that happen. Still, it was one of those moments that threw my world off it’s access…
My roomie T’s Border Collie had been scratching on her door, so she was sleeping on the couch in an effort to keep her boyfriend from being woken up. The pups usually sleep with me when P is spending the night, so his scratching must have meant that FR sensed what was going on.
When trying to sleep, T heard an eerie screaming coming from my room and thought I was having a nightmare. Shuffling through the dark to my room, she lightly grabbed my leg to tell me I was having a bad dream.
That’s when she realized the nightmare was real.
Instead of waking me up, what T felt was my body shaking uncontrollably. Instantly turning on the light, she was introduced to the horrifying vision of my arms extended straight out, eyes wide open, and blue lips with foam filling my mouth.
Screaming for her boyfriend who used to be a paramedic, P instantly told her to call 911 as he turned me on my side, now with blood coming out with the foam at my mouth, and began to clean my airway.
I turned back to a normal color, all the while being completely unconscious for the four to six minutes of terror T and P faced while saving me.
To make things even more surreal, once the seizure finally stopped, I turned on my side and went back to sleep as if nothing had happened.
I don’t remember the firefighters being there at all, but I do vaguely remember the paramedics. Dressed in dark uniforms, restraining me against my will and with one very large paramedic so obviously unhappy to be there that I could tell through my fog, I thought they were police and I was being forcibly removed. Disoriented and barely able to see, my confusion was obvious by continuous “what the fuck” type statements, struggling, and unbuckling the restraints that were being put on for protection. P started to get through when he authoritatively yelled at me to stop resisting, but it was the real look of horror, hurt and heartbreak on T’s face that really brought me back. She had fought through this horrible event to save me, and now I was looking at her with confusion, distain and my own heartbreak as I thought she was having me forcibly removed from the property.
“R! You had a seizure!” It was her words along with the emotion in those big hazel-blue eyes that really broke through.
At that moment I stopped struggling. As I was sat in the ambulance and oxygen tubes were run along my face, my body went limp in silent confusion.
It would be days before my brain would fully reset, but I knew this was one of those game changing moments that would affect my life forever.
I’m still trying to process everything, but one more month at the beaches of San Diego isn’t exactly the worst. Having already changed my working patterns and gotten rid of my belongings accordingly, I’m already living the nomadic lifestyle I plan to keep up for the next few years.
Sometimes these human bodies just can’t handle all our awesome.